How to Make Decisions that Change the Way You Live

300 e-Mails in your In-Box?
A desk overflowing with paperwork?
A basement that looks like this?

They can all be overcome by learning how to decide.


I spent the last few days helping a kind lady clean out her basement. The exercise is a style of life coaching that many could probably use, but haven't the slightest idea that they really need it.

I'm not talking about the fact that our lives could probably use a deep decluttering; rather, I'm talking about the exercise of learning how to DECIDE.

One by one I would pick up a box and set it on the table. Together we would open it up and look inside. Her anxiety was visible. She had been putting this off for years. Her face would change. Her body would tense up. She would look at it and then respond with the same look we all give when that massive-complicated-email pops into our in-box (or we look at it for the 10th time without having yet done anything).

She would groan and say things like "Oh but..." "We paid XYZ for this..." "I'm not sure..."

Then her tendency was to turn around, open another box and ask: "oh, but what is this?"

I insisted. Every time she turned away - like setting paperwork on a desk to remain there for months - I would say: "Maam? What is this? We're not going to move on to anything else until you make a decision. Do you want this? Have you ever used it? WILL you ever use it? Do you think it's valuable to someone else? Would you like to try to sell it? Are you willing to throw it away?"

And finally she would decide! "You know what? I will give it to my sister." Almost always there was a tiny sigh of relief.

But as she turned to the next box, again I would insist. "Maam? What is the next action step that has to happen in order for this box of clothes to get to your sister's house?" And until she added to her bullet-list of ACTIONS:

• "Call my sister and ask her if she wants box of clothing."

We did not move on to the next box.

When you think about it, EVERY SINGLE ITEM in anyone's basement was, once upon a time, at a specific moment in time, placed there on purpose.

Often simply because you, or whoever placed it there, did not take the 8 intense seconds it requires to make a decision. (Besides, of course, things like your Christmas tree, which truly do belong in storage.)

It's the same reason we move onto the next e-Mail before doing something about it. It's the same reason we set something on our desks. We fail to decide.

After three grueling hours of making hard 8-second decisions we had neatly piled everything according to a few categories: 1 donation 2 garbage 3 sell 4 scrap metal 5 relocate in her home 6 Properly put back into storage.

When we thought we were finished, I turned around and found a toy clock on top of the extra pile of boxes. It was one of the few things that she had taken out of a box by herself. Absentmindedly, she had set it back down there because she had failed to make a decision when she picked it up. I chimed with a grin: "We're not finished." She responded with a laugh: "You caught me!"


Habits are formed with determination and especially with repetition. It might take a while to force yourself to take 8 seconds to decide, but your quality of life will surely benefit.