Don't Judge Me!

Being judged negatively is one of the worst feelings. But aren't we all quick to judge?

Here's how to be objective without throwing darts.



To begin, let's be clear that making judgments is part of life. We are supposed to judge - that's how we evaluate in order to make decisions. In fact, we make judgments in every decision we make.

e.g. We look at two routes to get to work, and we judge which one is most efficient or most scenic in order to get what we want. Or we look at the menu, and judge which sandwich will best fill our current cravings or help us keep our slim figure, based on what we value most.

Judgments are based on the values we have: efficiency vs. scenery; taste vs. health, etc.

When it comes to people, we should not avoid making judgments altogether, but rather making rash judgments. Because deciding who to be friends with can determine a huge part of our lifestyle. We are supposed to choose our friends. But that requires making solid judgments. And we shouldn't do that based alone on external things like what people wear.

It's not about not drawing conclusions, but about not jumping to conclusions.


But there is a kind of judging that is always wrong: when we judge someone else's intentions!

What bothers us when we are judged, is that often the person judges our intentions without first asking us about it or allowing us to explain. Or, even worse, when, despite our sincere explanations, they still insist that we intended something else.

When you walk into a work interview with bright blue hair, your possible future employer could begin to ask herself "why the blue hair?" Hopefully she asks that question out loud, so that you can explain the costume party from the night before.

But often we don't have that opportunity to ask. We go shopping, and the dude in front of us in line looks like Joker from Batman. Our instinct is to pull our children away.

And that's okay. We are supposed to be cautious. People say a lot about themselves by the things they wear and how they smell and the style of their hair. And it's okay to question behavior that smacks of strange.

But there is a huge difference between noticing objective things and jumping to conclusions about the intentions in a person's heart.

Everyone deserves the chance to explain. Everyone has a past. We're all "messed up" in our own little or huge ways.

But that also doesn't mean that I have to be friends with everyone. Kind? Yes! But not necessarily friends.


It's important to remember that as humans we're all on the same "team" as it were. But then again everyone has different values.

So judge actions and words and deeds according to the values that matter most to you, and use that to determine your choices.

But don't judge the heart!

That's the creator's job; and only he will do it with justice and mercy.