How to Make a Stand Once You've Talked Things Through

Every two individuals are different. I don't care how much in-love you are, there will be things that you clash on - again and again.

Even after talking things through, the collisions will come. Here's how to agree, and hold you spouse to it.

We're talking about things that you have first disagreed on, and then have discussed and come to a middle ground agreement upon.

For example:

• HE may prefer putting the dishes into the dishwasher right away, never leaving a single dish in the sink.
• She may prefer letting things pile up and then knocking it out all at once.

This is just an example from among a thousand things that you could disagree on. Obviously there is no "right answer". And we're talking about things that have no right answer. It's a simple case of having different preferences.

(In cases where there is a right/wrong answer, if you truly love your spouse, there should never be a willingness to compromise.)

So let's say you talk about it, and agree on a compromise - that it's okay for a few dishes to pile up, but never more than one sink full.

In other words, you have a conversation about it and together find a middle ground. You both give in, you both agree to change in order to please your spouse.


As time goes on, however, either one of you could be bothered because your spouse either messes up, OR bothered because you don't even like the middle ground that you've chosen together.

In these cases it's extremely important that you both value your joint decision!

When either one of you is having a bad day and gripes about the situation, it is in your best interest as a couple that the other doesn't respond by giving their preference, but rather by reminding their spouse of the middle ground, and holding them to it.

It is important to understand that bringing something up that you have already discussed and decided upon together undermines your ability to have conversations that find solutions that work.

Once you agree upon a middle ground, you should promise each other never to discuss it again, unless there is some type of new input, such as ants in the kitchen or a new dishwasher etc.


True story! lol